Its been a while I know since I’ve last delved into the Retards rapturous reportage but am no always able to get a copy of it (sometimes that’s no a bad thing either). I was actually ‘up the road’ fur a few days an obviously took in the Leeds game so I felt that it slightly dulled the reason fur ma spleen-venting outbursts on the weegie rag.  So in a shift to make it easier fur me (I tend to run into Russian vodka quite a bit) am gaunnie spill forth on a daily basis (ooh er missus, ye know whatta mean)

Tuesday – 3rd August

More Blackburn Rangers tales as Lozza Russo in a self-projected acrimonious way slags of the huns fur stitching another captain up. Amazing that the last three over rated petulant arseholes huv all ended up with another one in charge of them, oh please make Ricksen captain soon

Meanwhile the picture of Marcio Amoroso is fooling naebody, Stan Collymore you’ve been rumbled!!

If the scumbos think that they can block moves away fi their spiritual bus shelter then think again lard ass’s, land in the capital is worth a mint whereas Scottish fitba’ isnae, pretty simple kids eh? They are heading straight tae Sighthill when the Council sort that one out, Piemans only hanging around fur his share pay out whilst the deluded Sons of Gorgie pile giro after giro into that fuckin club, still 3rd force in Scottish fitba’ but!!

Mair greetin on the Hotline phone in by the Rantic masses, never happy these twats unless they’re winning everything, just like the spoilt brats that they are.  One minute they’re the next Brazil but they a loose a couple of corners in a match an the fans want tae lynch the board an sack players who didnae die in the process.  This section tends to revolve around very young, mentally ill an bigoted blind who slag each other off in a playground/parliament type way
“Ma teams better than your team”,
“Nah but your team will get beat in every compo they’re in” ,
“Nah stop it coz ma team is better coz it says so everyday in this fuckin paper”,
“Stop it you or am tellin ma faither, whenever ah can find him”

In the resumé of the glesca stars am surprised that the opportunity to mention Hibs didnae get slipped into the slagging off (well realisation mair accurately) of one Dider Agathe, aye that’s right the potential Scotland winger

After 5 pages of Rantic pish it was good tae see the advert for ‘Ibrox is for kids this summer’ with a very grainy out-off focus picture taken of Stefan Klos, dinnae tell me he’s done a Dirty Den webcam type adventure, surely this is pederasty at its worst!

So the officialdom an authoritarianism that is passed off as Scotlands society have now banned celebrating goals in any spontaneous or excited manner.  Say we finally manage tae stuff the weegie tramps or put one over the scumbos again this season are we just meant to shake hands and comb our hair back into place. I suppose it’s the logical conclusion to the way the game has turned into a pseudo-American family day out. Amid all the useful stuff like health & safety considerations there has been the reconditioning of fans throughout the UK.  It may work better at the clubs who have a fairly decent sized support but am afraid Scottish teams, an even smaller English provincial clubs, have suffered for this drive towards syndication and away from being part of a community and the expression that comes with it. Its all about money isn’t some glib throw away line its how commerce see us all in the worlds 4th largest economy…wait am gaunnae huv tae kool the beans the now on that one but please feel free to comment on it an I can discuss further

Finally we get a mention an its nowt tae dae with ex-players or the transfer market but it’s the other newsworthy Hibs mention, when someone’s injured. Poor auld mad dog Murdoch has got a nasty gash on his knee but he should be back for the start of the season.  Fair play to Ballymena’s finest as he was looking good in the air on Saturday an we defo missed his presence when he was taken off.  Cynically of course I believe that Leeds encouraged this ‘accident’ in an attempt to influence the game coz as the East Stand (well Terracing as we aw stand there like we used tae anyway) delighted in telling them “Premiership yer havin a laugh”

Until next time comrades, shoplifters of the world unite and take over

Jockney Green