Retards Freaky Friday the 13th: Some strange tales abound

Friday – 13th August

Its right up there in the ‘christ ah wish it wuz me’ category as some charitable soul has finally rammed the nut on Dougie Vipond (is that a real surname). Shite presenter fi a shite band who’s got a nippy voice, mix that with alcohol an someone being a tight arse an what do ye expect

No more ching for Brian Mc Phee for a while either.  Aiya that’s gotta hurt, did you get a sketch of his coupon, looks like he’s been on some dodgy bit o budda bing, mind you they’ll sell ye any kinda shan gear through in weegieville an her surrounding conurbations (posh word fur shitey newtowns & schemes).  If its no yer local ice cream vans shooting each other oer smack it’s the buckfast crew wi their ‘tems fur sale’ up at Central Station.  Please don’t confuse this with Centraal Station in Amsterdam, one is in a sleazy, dirty, run down, drug death filled, prostitution addled second city in a small European nation and the other is the best place to visit when yer in the Netherlands

Whilst on the subject of a weegie-Nederlander connection its interesting to read that Bert Konterman as opted to join a Dutch amateur team.  He obviously wishing to recreate that Rangers experience once again then.

Glad to see that UEFA are going to end Alex ‘ma fit slipt’ Rae’s Champions League outing this season.  It’s a bittie harsh tae ban him for 6 games to achieve this, a one match ban would do as the Huns are gaun naewhere by the looks o things.  Nah fuck it ban him fur 6, that’ll take care of the next 3 seasons qualifying attempts as well

Who’s the jeer fi Falkirk in the Hotline section? And I quote
 “I have watched the incident closely and I am adamant that Rae was entitled to go for the ball.  It appears as though there is an agenda to hound Rae but I have seen much worse on the pitch”
Has this radge been hanging round the same chippie as Brian Mc Phee, where dae ye start????  It was a clear foul by the Russkis that the ref blew for, I know the rules and interpretations of them change constantly it seems but when the fuck could you stick the boot into someone on the deck who has covered the ball with their body. I think the only agenda tae hound Rae oot the game is by the queens eleven’s own supporters as they’ve realised he’s actually another pish Eckmeister signing.  As for seeing worse on the pitch I couldn’t agree more likes, the names Ricksen, Moore, Souness, Ferguson (theres at least 4 tae choose from), Hurlock, Brown, etc., I mean the list is endless really isnt it

Nice headline tae see was the ‘Hearts close to stadium sale’, it reminds me of an old Vera Lynn track an its got fuck aw tae do with the white cliffs of Dover.  Or mibbe the new Hertz anthem could be the Specials ‘Ghost Town’, that’ll sound barrie echoing roond the empty seats at Murrayfield as the wee Rangers continue as the 3rd force in Scottish fitba.

Well as fur the auld Cabbage the best we get the day is that Gary Caldwell declined the photo shoot fur the new Scotland strip (ah see they drafted in the Huns latest signing on the left in the picture), we’ve drawn Alloa in the league cup an that Tony ‘The Hulk’ Higgins is off again fighting the cause fur our beleaguered fitba players. Guid tae see someone has the sense tae realise Scotlands position in world fitba nowadays.

Right as the say doon in the Niddrie 20, root-toot-an-am-oot

Keep the Faith ma brothers

Jockney Green